Dreaming Big: Things I Want to Do with My Future Husband
Hey everyone, it’s Amanda Erin here. I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately: the future. Specifically, the future I can’t wait to build with my favorite person, Kevin Clarence.
We’re not married yet, but we talk about it all the time, and my mind is constantly buzzing with a million little dreams for our life together. It’s more than just planning a wedding; it’s about imagining the tapestry of moments, both big and small, that will define our shared story.
I’ve always been a planner, a dreamer, a list-maker. My notebooks are filled with scribbles of places to see, recipes to try, and skills to learn. Now, my favorite lists are the ones titled “Things for Me & Kevin.” It feels so special to have a partner to share these aspirations with.
I believe that dreaming together is one of the most intimate things a couple can do. It’s about more than just a bucket list; it’s about co-authoring your life. So, I thought I’d share some of the things I’m most excited about, the adventures and simple moments I want to fill our years with. Maybe it will inspire you to start your own list!
Building Our Foundation: Traditions Big and Small
Before we even think about grand adventures, I dream about the little things—the rhythms and rituals that will make our house feel like a home. Traditions are the heartbeat of a family, aren’t they? They’re the anchors that hold you steady through life’s chaos and the moments you look back on with a warm, fuzzy feeling.
The Annual “Us” Trip
One of the first traditions I want to start is an annual “Us” trip. This isn’t about a lavish, international vacation (though I’m not opposed to those!). Instead, this is a dedicated weekend, just for the two of us, to reconnect without distractions. It could be as simple as renting a cabin in the woods an hour away or revisiting the city where we had our first date.
Here’s how I envision it:
- Pick a Date: We’d block out the same weekend every year, maybe around our anniversary, so it becomes a non-negotiable part of our calendar.
- Alternate Planning: To keep things exciting, Kevin can plan it one year, and I’ll plan it the next. The planner gets to choose the destination and the activities, keeping it a surprise for the other person. Can you imagine the fun in that?
- The “No Phones” Rule: For at least a few hours each day of the trip, we’d put our phones away. No social media, no work emails, no mindless scrolling. Just us, talking, laughing, and being present with each other. This feels more and more essential.
- Create a Trip Journal: I love the idea of having a special journal just for these trips. We could fill it with photos, ticket stubs, inside jokes, and a short entry about what we did and what we learned about each other that year. Over 10, 20, or 50 years, it would become our most treasured possession.
I think this dedicated time is crucial. Life gets so busy with work, family obligations, and just the general “stuff” of adulthood. Having this one weekend locked in would be a powerful reminder that our relationship comes first.
Mastering the Kitchen, Together
I’m not a chef by any means, and let’s just say Kevin’s culinary skills are a work in progress. But that’s exactly why I love the idea of us conquering the kitchen as a team. I dream of Sunday dinners becoming our thing. Not fancy, seven-course meals, but comforting, delicious food that we prepare together.
We could try a new recipe every week, maybe working our way through a cookbook from a specific country. One month could be Italian, the next could be Thai. We’d learn to chop, sauté, and season side-by-side.
I can already picture the scene: music playing, a glass of wine in hand, flour dusted on Kevin’s nose, and the delicious smell of whatever we’ve managed not to burn filling our home. These moments of teamwork, of creating something together from scratch, feel like such a beautiful metaphor for building a life. Plus, it means we’ll always eat well!
The Grand Adventures: Exploring the World Hand-in-Hand
Okay, now for the big stuff. While cozy traditions are the foundation, grand adventures are the vibrant, colorful stories we’ll tell our future kids and grandkids. Kevin and I both have a serious case of wanderlust, and the idea of seeing the world with my permanent travel partner makes my heart soar.
A Multi-Week Road Trip with No Real Plan
I’m a planner, but there’s a part of me that craves pure spontaneity. My ultimate travel dream is to take a three-week cross-country road trip with Kevin, armed with nothing but a reliable car, a great playlist, and a loose sense of direction. No strict itinerary, no pre-booked hotels every single night. Just the freedom of the open road.
I imagine us deciding our next stop over breakfast at a roadside diner. “Should we head towards the mountains or the coast today?” We’d pull over for quirky roadside attractions, stumble upon small towns with hidden gems, and maybe even sleep in the car under the stars one night (in a safe, non-creepy way, of course!).
This kind of trip is a true test of a relationship, right? It forces you to be flexible, to solve problems on the fly, and to be comfortable with silence as the miles roll by. But I think it’s in those unscripted moments getting lost and discovering something amazing, changing plans because we met a cool person who recommended a different route that you create the best memories. It’s about the journey, not just the destination, and I want to experience that journey with him.
Living Abroad for a Year
This is a bigger, more intimidating dream, but it’s one I can’t shake. I want to live in another country with Kevin for a full year. Not just as tourists, but as temporary locals. I want to navigate a foreign grocery store, learn to order coffee in another language, and build a small community of friends far from home.
Where would we go? Maybe a small village in Italy, where we could learn to make pasta from a real nonna. Or perhaps a coastal town in Portugal, where we could spend our mornings surfing and our afternoons working remotely. The location is less important than the experience itself.
Living abroad forces you out of your comfort zone in every possible way. You have to rely on each other completely. You become a team against the world, figuring out visas, bank accounts, and public transportation together.
I believe an experience like that would forge an unbreakable bond between us. We would come back not just with new skills and incredible memories, but with a deeper understanding of the world and our place in it.
Personal Growth: Becoming Better Versions of Ourselves, Together
A great partnership isn’t just about doing things together; it’s about supporting each other’s individual growth. I don’t want to lose myself in our relationship, and I don’t want Kevin to either. Instead, I hope we can be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, pushing one another to learn, grow, and pursue our passions.
The “Skill of the Year” Challenge
Here’s a fun idea I had: the “Skill of the Year” challenge. At the beginning of each year, we would each choose one new skill we want to learn. It could be anything—learning to play the guitar, becoming conversational in Spanish, getting a scuba diving certification, or even mastering the art of woodworking.
Throughout the year, we would support each other’s goals. If Kevin wants to learn guitar, I’ll be his patient (and probably only) audience for his first clumsy chords. If I want to learn Spanish, he can help me practice with flashcards. We would hold each other accountable and celebrate the small wins along the way.
This isn’t about becoming experts at everything. It’s about embracing a mindset of lifelong learning and curiosity. Imagine looking back after ten years of marriage and realizing you’ve collectively learned twenty new skills! It ensures we never become stagnant and that we’re always evolving, both as individuals and as a couple.
Building Something That Lasts
Beyond personal skills, I dream of us building something tangible together. This could take many forms. Maybe it’s a business we start from the ground up, combining his strengths with mine. Or maybe it’s a community project we feel passionate about, like starting a local garden or volunteering for a cause we both believe in.
For me, the ultimate dream would be to design and build our own small home or cabin. I know, it sounds like a reality TV show waiting to happen, complete with drama and budget crises. But the idea of pouring our sweat, creativity, and love into the physical structure where we’ll live our lives is incredibly romantic to me.
From drawing up the blueprints to hammering in the last nail, every part of that home would tell the story of our partnership. It would be more than just a house; it would be a monument to our teamwork.
Mistakes to Avoid When Dreaming Together
Dreaming is the fun part, but if you’re not careful, it can lead to disappointment or conflict. As much as I love planning our future with Kevin, I’ve realized there are a few pitfalls we need to consciously avoid.
- Mistake 1: The “My Way or the Highway” Dream. It’s easy for one person’s dream to overshadow the other’s. If I’m obsessed with Italy but Kevin has always dreamed of exploring Japan, forcing my dream on him will only build resentment. The key is to find the “our dream” within the “my dream.” Maybe we do a trip to Italy one year and Japan the next. Or maybe we find a compromise that excites us both equally. Shared dreams must be co-created, not dictated.
- Mistake 2: All Fantasy, No Reality. Dreaming about living in Paris for a year is wonderful. But if you never actually look up visa requirements, the cost of living, or job prospects, that dream will forever remain a fantasy. It’s important to ground your big dreams in a little bit of practical planning. Create a savings plan, do your research, and take small, actionable steps. A dream without a plan is just a wish.
- Mistake 3: Forgetting the “Now”. Sometimes, we can get so caught up in planning for the future that we forget to enjoy the present. If all our conversations are about “someday when,” we risk missing the beautiful, simple moments happening right in front of us. It’s a balance. We should dream about our future house while still savoring the coziness of our current tiny apartment. We need to appreciate the chapter we’re in while looking forward to the next one.
- Mistake 4: Equating Money with Happiness. Many dreams like travel or building a house cost money. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “We’ll be happy once we can afford X.” But that’s a dangerous mindset. There are always free or low-cost ways to create memories and build traditions. A picnic in the park can be just as romantic as a fancy dinner. A camping trip can be just as adventurous as a five-star resort. We must remember that the quality of the time spent together is what matters, not the price tag.
Conclusion: Let’s Start Dreaming
Thinking about all these things the quiet Sunday dinners, the spontaneous road trips, the shared goals fills me with so much excitement and hope. Building a life with someone is the greatest adventure of all, and these dreams are the roadmap I want to follow with Kevin. They are the “why” behind the daily grind, the light at the end of a tough week.
The most important takeaway for me is that dreaming together is an ongoing conversation. It’s about checking in with each other, adapting your plans as you both change and grow, and never losing that sense of wonder about what’s next. Your shared life is your greatest masterpiece, so why not make it vibrant, adventurous, and uniquely yours?
Now, I’d love to hear from you. What are some of the things you dream of doing with your partner? Are there any special traditions you’ve already started? Share your thoughts in the comments below I can’t wait to read them!
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my partner isn’t a big dreamer or planner?
That’s completely normal! Not everyone is a natural list-maker. The key is to start small. Instead of trying to plan a decade ahead, maybe just suggest one new thing you could try together next month, like visiting a new restaurant or taking a day trip.
How do you handle disagreements about future plans?
Disagreements are inevitable because you’re two different people! When Kevin and I have different ideas, we try to get to the “why” behind each person’s dream. For example, if I want a beach vacation and he wants a mountain trip, maybe my “why” is relaxation and his is adventure. Once we understand the core desire, we can often find a third option that satisfies both, like a trip to a place with both mountains and a coastline.
Is it okay for our dreams to change over time?
Absolutely! In fact, it’s a sign of a healthy, evolving relationship. The dreams you have in your twenties might be very different from the ones you have in your forties, and that’s a good thing. Life circumstances change, priorities shift, and you grow as individuals.
