How to Honor Your Husband: A Guide to Building a Stronger Bond
It’s funny how a single word can feel so… loaded. When someone first mentioned the idea of “honoring” my husband, my mind immediately went to some old-fashioned, black-and-white movie scene.
You know the one: a wife in a poodle skirt, holding a perfectly baked pie, waiting for her husband to walk through the door. While I do love a good pie and my husband, Kevin, certainly never complains when I make one that image just didn’t fit us.
Hi, I’m Amanda Erin, and for the last twelve years, Kevin Clarence has been my partner-in-crime, my biggest supporter, and the guy who still makes me laugh so hard I snort. Our life isn’t a 1950s sitcom; it’s messy, beautiful, and real.
Through all the ups and downs, I’ve learned that honoring your husband isn’t about being subservient or losing yourself. It’s about respect, appreciation, and actively choosing to build a partnership that thrives. It’s about seeing the incredible person you married and making sure he feels seen, too.
So, if you’ve ever wondered what honoring your partner really looks like in a modern marriage, you’re in the right place. This isn’t about outdated rules. It’s about strengthening your bond, deepening your connection, and creating a relationship where you both feel cherished. Let’s explore what it truly means to honor the person you love.
Understanding What Honor Means in a Marriage
Before we dive into the “how-to,” let’s get on the same page about what “honor” even means. In a marriage, honor isn’t about putting your husband on a pedestal or treating him as if he’s flawless.
I mean, let’s be real I love Kevin to bits, but the man can’t seem to remember where we keep the spare trash bags to save his life. It’s a running joke in our house. Honor is about so much more than that.
Honor is a conscious choice to hold your partner in high regard. It’s about respecting his character, valuing his opinions, and appreciating his contributions to your life and family. It’s an action, a mindset, and a feeling all rolled into one. It’s the glue that holds you together when life gets tough.
Moving Beyond the Traditional Definition
The traditional, almost biblical, sense of the word can feel a bit stuffy for a modern relationship. But if we strip away the old-fashioned connotations, we find something powerful at its core: mutual respect.
Honoring your husband doesn’t mean you can’t have your own opinions or challenge his. In fact, some of the most growth-oriented conversations Kevin and I have had started with a disagreement.
Honoring him means that even when we disagree, I approach the conversation with respect. I don’t belittle his perspective or resort to cheap shots. It means I see him as my equal, my partner, and my teammate. We’re on the same side, even when we’re on opposite sides of an issue.
Why Does It Matter So Much?
So why all the fuss about honor? Because feeling valued and respected is a fundamental human need. When your husband feels honored by you, he feels secure, confident, and more connected to you. It creates a positive feedback loop:
- He feels appreciated, so he’s more likely to show you appreciation in return.
- He feels respected, so he trusts you more with his vulnerabilities.
- He feels like a priority, which strengthens his commitment to making you a priority.
I remember a time early in our marriage when Kevin was working on a passion project in our garage. It was a clunky, ridiculous-looking piece of furniture he was trying to build. My first instinct was to tease him about it.
Instead, I stopped myself and brought him a cold drink, telling him how much I admired his dedication. The look on his face? Priceless. He wasn’t just my goofy husband anymore; he was a craftsman, and I was his biggest fan. That small shift changed everything.
Practical Ways to Show Respect and Appreciation
Okay, so we’ve established that honor is basically a supercharged form of respect. But what does that look like day-to-day? It’s not always about grand gestures. More often, it’s about the small, consistent things that say, “I see you, I value you, and I’m so glad you’re mine.”
Listen, and I Mean Really Listen
Have you ever been talking to someone while they’re scrolling on their phone? It feels awful, right? One of the most powerful ways to show honor is to give your husband your undivided attention. When he’s talking about his day, a problem at work, or his latest obsession with a new video game, put your phone down, turn to face him, and listen.
You don’t always have to offer solutions. Sometimes, he just wants to be heard. Active listening involves:
- Making eye contact: It shows you’re engaged.
- Asking follow-up questions: “What happened next?” or “How did that make you feel?”
- Validating his feelings: “Wow, that sounds really frustrating.”
This simple act communicates that his thoughts and feelings matter to you. It tells him that his world is important to you, simply because it’s his.
Speak Highly of Him to Others
How you talk about your husband when he isn’t around is a massive indicator of the respect you have for him. It’s tempting to vent to friends about his annoying habits (hello, leaving wet towels on the bed!), but make a conscious effort to praise him in public, too.
When you’re out with friends or family, share a story about something amazing he did. Brag about his promotion at work, or tell everyone how he fixed the leaky sink all by himself.
Kevin once overheard me telling my mom how patient he is with our kids, and he told me later that it meant the world to him. Public praise is a powerful affirmation. It tells him that you’re proud to be his partner, and it reinforces his value in your eyes and the eyes of others.
Appreciate His Hard Work
Whether your husband is the primary breadwinner, a stay-at-home dad, or you both work full-time, he contributes to your family. It’s so easy for those contributions to become expected and, therefore, overlooked. Take the time to acknowledge his efforts.
A simple “Thank you for working so hard for our family” can go a long way. I try to make it a point to thank Kevin for things that might seem mundane. “Thanks for taking out the trash,” or “I really appreciate you handling the kids’ bedtime routine tonight.”
These small acknowledgments prevent him from feeling like a human ATM or just another cog in the household machine. He feels seen and appreciated for the role he plays.
The Power of Words and Thoughtful Actions
They say actions speak louder than words, but IMO, the right words at the right time are just as powerful. Honoring your husband is also about being intentional with your language and your gestures. It’s about creating a home environment where he feels uplifted and supported.
A Step-by-Step Guide to the Perfect “Thank You” Note
Sometimes, a verbal “thank you” isn’t enough. Writing a heartfelt note is a tangible way to show your appreciation that he can keep and reread. It feels a little old-school, but that’s what makes it so special!
Here’s a simple formula to get you started:
- Start with a specific moment. Don’t just say “Thanks for everything.” Instead, start with something like, “I was thinking about the other day when you…” This makes it personal and shows you’re paying attention.
- Explain how it made you feel. Use “I” statements. “When you took the kids to the park so I could have an hour to myself, I felt so cared for and seen.” This connects his action to your emotional response.
- Acknowledge his character. Tie the action to a positive quality he possesses. “You are always so thoughtful and aware of what I need, even when I don’t say it. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
- End with a simple expression of love. A classic “I love you” or “I’m so lucky to have you” is the perfect way to wrap it up.
Leave the note on his pillow, in his lunch bag, or on the driver’s seat of his car. It’s a small surprise that can make his entire day.
Celebrate His Achievements, Big and Small
Did your husband hit a new personal record at the gym? Did he finally finish that book he’s been trying to read for months? Did his team win their softball game? Celebrate it!
Honoring him means being his personal cheerleader. Life isn’t just about the big milestones like promotions and anniversaries. It’s made up of thousands of tiny victories. When you celebrate those with him, you’re telling him that his personal growth and happiness matter to you.
Kevin recently got into baking sourdough bread. His first few loaves were… let’s just say they could have been used as doorstops. 🙂 But he kept trying. When he finally baked a perfect, crusty loaf, you would have thought he’d won an Olympic gold medal.
We took pictures, sent them to our family, and enjoyed every last crumb with a ridiculous amount of butter. He was so proud, and I was proud of him.
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Honoring Your Husband
In our quest to be good partners, it’s easy to stumble. Sometimes, we have the best intentions but our actions get lost in translation. Recognizing these common pitfalls is the first step toward building a more respectful and honoring relationship.
Mistake 1: Weaponizing His Vulnerabilities
When your husband opens up to you and shares something he’s insecure about, that’s a sacred moment. He’s trusting you with a fragile part of himself. One of the most damaging things you can do is bring that up later during an argument.
Using his insecurities as ammunition is a betrayal of that trust. It sends the message that it’s not safe for him to be vulnerable with you. If you’ve done this in the past (and let’s be honest, many of us have in the heat of the moment), it’s crucial to apologize sincerely and commit to never doing it again. A healthy partnership requires a safe space for both people to be imperfect.
Mistake 2: Correcting Him in Public
Nobody likes to be corrected, especially in front of other people. It can feel embarrassing and demeaning. Whether he’s telling a story and gets a detail wrong or mispronounces a word, resist the urge to jump in and correct him on the spot.
Unless the correction is absolutely critical (like he’s giving someone the wrong directions to the hospital), let it go. You can always gently mention it to him in private later if it’s important.
Publicly correcting him can feel like you’re undermining his intelligence or authority, which is the opposite of honor. It’s a small change that makes a huge difference in how respected he feels by your side.
Mistake 3: Comparing Him to Other Men
“Well, Sarah’s husband always…” Stop right there. Comparison is the thief of joy, and it’s a surefire way to make your husband feel inadequate. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend’s husband, your brother, or some idealized man you saw on TV. Comparing your husband to someone else implies that he’s not good enough as he is.
Every person has a unique set of strengths. Focus on what makes your husband amazing. Instead of wishing he was more like someone else, celebrate the man he is. When Kevin and I were first married, I sometimes found myself wishing he was as handy as my dad.
But then I realized that while he might not be able to build a deck, he has incredible emotional intelligence and a sense of humor that can pull me out of any funk. I learned to honor the gifts he does have, rather than focusing on what he lacks.
Conclusion: The Ripple Effect of Honor
Honoring your husband isn’t about following a set of rigid rules or becoming someone you’re not. It’s a heartfelt, ongoing practice of showing respect, appreciation, and love. It’s about choosing to see the best in him and making sure he feels it every single day.
When you create a culture of honor in your marriage, the effects are profound. You’ll find that your husband is more open, more loving, and more eager to honor you in return.
It’s not about a one-way street; it’s about building a partnership where both of you feel like the most important person in the world. It strengthens your bond, deepens your intimacy, and builds a foundation that can withstand any storm.
My life with Kevin is far from perfect, but it’s built on a bedrock of mutual honor. It’s in the way he makes me coffee every morning and the way I make sure to tell him how much I appreciate it. It’s in the big celebrations and the quiet, everyday moments. And that, to me, is what a strong, beautiful marriage is all about.
Now I’d love to hear from you. What is one way you show honor to your husband? Or is there an idea from this post you’re excited to try? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Let’s learn from each other.
